So I tore out all my strawberries last year. But they are aggressive and a lone strawberry plant showed up on the ground next to the raised beds. I was not paying too much attention to it until I noticed 2 large berries on it. I thought the squirrels would get to it before me and didn’t think too much about it. Imagine my surprise when they turned red and nothing had eaten them. Then this morning I saw a bite out of one. I picked them immediately. One was eaten by slugs. I hate slugs. And I ate the other.
It was fine. I coulda let it ripen further but I wasn’t going to let something get to it before me. You see. I can outsmart the wildlife in my yard, well, the slugs anyway.
When I took this out of my garden, just kidding, there is no possible way that I would ever have beaten the squirrels to this even if it had grown there. (I took all the strawberries out last year after the squirrels ate every single unripe fruit). No, instead I was lured into buying these by the smell of the piles of strawberries at MetroMarket. I bought a small box of them.
Oh god this gets so tiring. I have everbearing strawberries. I do not like strawberries from the store unless I happen to hit one or two in a box that actually tastes good. Mostly they taste like carpeting. I’m not looking for bowls of ’em. Just a couple here and there that taste like strawberries should taste. So I got 3 plants (now something like 450 plants—they make rabbits look infertile) just to have a few strawberries (OK to be honest I am picturing a lustrous strawberry cake with layers of juice-dripping strawberries.) Something, of course, is eating them before they get even close to having color and I’ve just been too busy (and possibly lazy) battling the other vermin in the yard to do anything about it. So when I saw this berry (just the goddam one) getting pink I put a plastic screen over the whole raised box. I mean, just the one would mean so much to me. Goddamit to hell. It was gone in the morning. The plastic screen still undisturbed which means it’s the squirrels. Where’s the goddam hawk when you need it.