Wisconsin cheese

Who in the freaking hell designs these packages? Has anyone in Milladore (wherever the hell that is) ever tried to open it? Did the buyer at Pick N Save or Metro Market ever attempt to open one?

This package is completely unopenable. And once I finally did get it open and and then closed it, when I went to open it again later was impossible to get open. I will never ever buy this or any packaged cheese from these people again. Too bad because I’d prefer to buy Wisconsin cheese but not if I have to wage war to open it.

Happy birthday, Patty

My sister Patty’s birthday was last Saturday and I had the opportunity to buy one of the pretty cakes I see at Pick N Save (Actually Metro Market the small but more expensive version of a 

Roundy’s super market). It was actually a giant cupcake-shaped little cake. When I cut it (after an abbreviated version of Happy Birthday to You without candles since there were no matches in my mom’s new apartment [note to self]) I was horrified to discover that the huge top of the cake was all frosting. In fact, the thing was mostly frosting (only the yellow and dark brown parts were cake) and in my experience people will run screaming from too much frosting. 

As it happens the frosting was really sort of good. I hesitate to admit that after complaining about the sweet ravioli. Nonetheless, no one would eat much of it. My father would have been horrified.

Sausage fest

I pass the parade of different sausages everytime I pass a butcher counter and since I go to some grocery store or other pretty much every day and every store has its own display, I see a whole lot of sausages. It feels like they are all trying to out do each other; blueberry breakfast sausage, buffalo chicken sausage, turkey and stuffing sausage and on and on. So I decided to try some of them. I got some from Whole Foods and some from Pick N Save (Actually it was Metro Market, but it’s just really a Pick N Save with higher prices).

Did you know that legally you cannot wrap a turkey sausage with a pork chorizo sausage? Poultry and pork must be separated. That is until you get them home and put them on the grill together. 

I got chicken feta and spinach **, chorizo*, hot italian*, turkey brat and my personal favorite the buffalo chicken****. Normally, I use a three star rating with no stars being good enough, one being delicious, two outstanding and three something to write home about, but the buffalo chicken was really hands above all the rest. If something wasn’t good enough I wouldn’t mention it unless it was, say, poisonous. In which case I’d come up with some way to alert the media.

In the interest of honesty, I have to admit, I have never used a star system before.