Metro Market: What a disappointment

I don’t know who decides to do these things. It cannot be someone who shops. Or at least not someone who shops like a sane person. This is a small store. They’ve replaced a lot of the “grocery” area with deli kinda stuff. Self-serve cheese platters—I know for a fact that this is horribly wasteful. I asked the cheese lady with whom I am on intimate terms what they do with all this stuff when it dries out…they toss it. She added under her breath, almost all of it. So they’ve reduced that amount of space they allocate to real groceries but somehow manage to have space for like 100 jars of Miracle Whip. Still there are no small jars of mayonnaise, only giant ones. This drives me nuts.

I love Miracle Whip as much, ok, more, than the next guy but I need a small jar of mayonnaise. Humor me.

I felt a thigh

The name of my college fraternity. It always got a big laugh. One of my perfect diet foods, and I suppose I should define a diet food as anything that is not a carbohydrate, is the turkey thigh. I love them any time of the year, Thanksgiving not withstanding. I had stopped at Sendik’s to get some stuff for my mother. I haven’t shopped there in some time and I was really happy to discover that it still has the charm of a small grocery store (love that) and a great meat department. Good produce too. After the shock of the filthy conditions at Metro Market I was happy to see how excellent Sendik’s meat looked and I will have to go there more often. The meat counter is much enlarged from the last time I was there and they had turkey thighs. I bought 2 of them.

I pan fried them for 10 minutes skin side down, and then turned them skin side up, put the lid on and stuck them in a 325 degree oven. After an hour I took the lid off and let the skin get crispy, or at least crispier. Once that was accomplished I took the skin off entirely and put it on an oven proof plate and into the oven. Then I put onions and jalapeños all over the thigh, lid back on and into the oven for a final braise. The result was falling apart meat with chopped skin as cracklings.

It was amazingly delicious. And rates up there on my list of top 10 diet foods.

I am only writing this to recover from the misery of that goddam football game. Shoot me.


Let me just say that this doesn’t scare me. It just disgusts me. How could a place like Metro Market let this happen? Even if it is actually there, which I now assume is true. Why would they let us see it? I know stuff gets dirty. I had a restaurant (Not that it was ever, ever like this) but stuff gets dirty.  And this filth was not just from that day. That meat case hasn’t been cleaned in weeks.

My issue with is is simply that they let people see it. And it wasn’t like it was just for a second. The entire time I waited for my order this was exposed. Shame on MetroMarket.

Wisconsin cheese

Who in the freaking hell designs these packages? Has anyone in Milladore (wherever the hell that is) ever tried to open it? Did the buyer at Pick N Save or Metro Market ever attempt to open one?

This package is completely unopenable. And once I finally did get it open and and then closed it, when I went to open it again later was impossible to get open. I will never ever buy this or any packaged cheese from these people again. Too bad because I’d prefer to buy Wisconsin cheese but not if I have to wage war to open it.

Living room picnic

I like the idea of this. Lots of appetizers (now called “small plates” by the same people who brought you “house-made”) and not having to move to the dining room table. (Which is only four feet away but still).

I made my world renowned chip dip and used the luscious waffle cut chips that get loads of dip on them. I had assorted breads and house-grilled pita chips and a good cheese plate with Cambozola, my favorite cheese no longer sold by the woefully inadequate MetroMarket but I found it at Whole Foods. House-made hummus, grilled chicken wings and ribs (ugh) and creole shrimp. I had quesadillas which I fried on the grill in the fat left from the wings…if you want delicious. Then there were chicken skewers and for dessert: chocolates from Belgium.

The four of us never left the couch. Except to get more margaritas.

The cost of cream

As a rule I do not shop for food at Target. Target is fine for, say, paper toweling or store containers, food, not so much. But I needed some stuff, was at Target and what the hey. I’m not sure why I looked at or even more strangely took a picture of the price of the cream I bought but the next time I was at MetroMarket I was shocked to see that cream is nearly $3 more. And that isn’t the organic stuff I usually buy.

Looks like I will have to do some serious research.

Rotting tomatoes

I just don’t even know where to go with this. I buy expensive tomatoes that taste really good. Unless they are moldy. There’s no way to know because they look just fine. Until you open the package. They are packed stem side down which is where they mold from) Yesterday I went to Metromarket and asked the produce guy about it. He was very nice but not really believing what I was saying and to make his point he went over and got a package to open in front of me. He opened the package and took one out and it was fine and then to my extreme relief the next one it wasn’t just moldy, it was collapsing in on itself.

He told me to open the package next time. And I will.

Sausages and sauce

Sausages for lunch. I promised to make lunch for everyone who wore a costume on Hallowe’en. I also promised substantial monetary prizes. Rick and Rosana won.

I browned chicken and feta sausages and then made sauce with the stuff burnt on to the bottom of the pan. (It appears to be more burnt than it was). I am an impatient browner of food so the sausages are erratically browned. Nonetheless, these chicken and feta sausages from Metro Market were awesome. Rolls from Scortinos. I simmered them in the sauce for 2 hours.

I know they were good because Dan, my buisness partner who is Italian and a discriminating cook, rushed over to me while he was still eating his sausage and asked where I got them from.

Sausage fest

I pass the parade of different sausages everytime I pass a butcher counter and since I go to some grocery store or other pretty much every day and every store has its own display, I see a whole lot of sausages. It feels like they are all trying to out do each other; blueberry breakfast sausage, buffalo chicken sausage, turkey and stuffing sausage and on and on. So I decided to try some of them. I got some from Whole Foods and some from Pick N Save (Actually it was Metro Market, but it’s just really a Pick N Save with higher prices).

Did you know that legally you cannot wrap a turkey sausage with a pork chorizo sausage? Poultry and pork must be separated. That is until you get them home and put them on the grill together. 

I got chicken feta and spinach **, chorizo*, hot italian*, turkey brat and my personal favorite the buffalo chicken****. Normally, I use a three star rating with no stars being good enough, one being delicious, two outstanding and three something to write home about, but the buffalo chicken was really hands above all the rest. If something wasn’t good enough I wouldn’t mention it unless it was, say, poisonous. In which case I’d come up with some way to alert the media.

In the interest of honesty, I have to admit, I have never used a star system before.

Moldy tomatoes

I bought these tomatoes yesterday at Metro Market. They are “kumatoes” whatever that means. They are good though, and taste like real tomatoes. I like it that they come in cardboard (but not the plastic sleeve part). 

What do you do when you get produce that’s moldy? There is no way in hell I am gonna save it and take it back.