Tortilla pizza

A tortilla pizza will be in no way as good as Schmidt’s amazing pizza. But it’s not bad for a fast crust. Two flour tortillas. I moisten the edges of the bottom one so they stick together a little. Then I get the oven raging hot and have all my toppings ready.

You cannot use canned mushrooms on pizza. I am sorry. It is dead wrong. And you cannot use raw mushrooms, they just don’t work, turning into semi-dried flavorless dreck. I solve this problem by sautéing them in oil and butter with salt and pepper for 5 minutes. It’s a little bit of an issue but, hey, I have issues anyway. I also refuse to use pre-shredded cheese so I have to shred the cheese too. Speaking of issues.

I made 4 pizzas. The first was sour cream (as the sauce), corn and proscuitto and maybe a little mozzarella. It’s one of those the sum-of-the-parts sorta things. It is awesome. But you have to lightly sauté the corn for maximum flavor. The second was buffalo chicken. The sauce is a mix of bottled ranch dressing and Frank’s hot sauce. the topping is raw chicken and celery. You don’t need bleu cheese.

Thirdly was the sausage pizza. And the fourth was pepperoni. None of these were as good as the Schmidt’s pizza but they were a revelation in the face of a month of pain. My friend Jim and I were watching the premiere episode of Looking. The new gay themed show on HBO. It was just OK. But being starved for any gay themed anything, (Modern Family sucks, FYI) we’d love nearly anything. And we did. The pizzas too.