Time to pay the piper

Too much cheese and bread in France means diet time in the US. Someone in my office did a three-day “fruit smoothie” diet. He raved about it and even brought one for me to try and it was (relatively) delicious. So I decided I’d try it. But clearly he did not make these himself. His soon-to-be-wife must have because this was a FREAKING procedure and it is one I know Javier would never have the patience to attempt.

I have a juicer and a blender which were required to make this stuff. In the recipes I read it always said to drink immediately. There is a reason for that which I will get to.

So I juiced some grapefruit, orange, apple, strawberry and blueberries. What a mess. Jesus. And at one point I forgot to put the juice-catching cup in place and and that not only compounded the mess, I lost a good quarter cup of juice.

Once I had enough juice, I blended mango, banana, more strawberries, blueberries, apple. Plus a whole container of kale, the miracle green leafy vegetable I do not like to eat.

I ended up with a sinkful of fruit detritus (I have a commercial garbage disposal) and 2 quarts of liquid. Purple-gray disgusting liquid. It didn’t taste all that bad but it was not something you’d serve to guests. At least not if you expected them to ever come back.

I should have drunk the crap immediately because after about 3 hours in the refrigerator it solidified into something not un-liver like in its appearance. I had to eat it rather than drink it. The best I could say is that it was not unpleasant. While I’m hoping I lose weight quickly (because I’m gonna lose patience with this routine in a hurry) I don’t expect there’s even a remote possibility that I’ll drop 10 pounds in 2 days.