I’ve been reading about this new crazy sensation “smash burgers” which are just hamburgers done on a grill plate and squashed to death. Nothing medium rare here. Squashed hamburgers. I watched Adam Rappaport of Bon Appetit make them with all his attendant oohing and aahing and drooling and “ooh-this-is-the-besting” and decided to try it. I was not really convinced but I’ll give anything a shot. OK, not anchovies.
I dragged out the ol’ rusty grill plate and scrubbed it down with salt the way the internet and possibly a certain horse riding food vigilante may have suggested so it was all prepped and ready to squash hamburgers on.
I had my beef tallow a-roiling just next to the grill (yes outside so there would be no stink inside) so I could deep fry and smash at the same time.
I did not get any pictures once everything was done because aside from the manic confusion of the smashing and deep-frying, I was covered head to toe in splattered tallow and/or burger grease (Also tallow I assume) and was too greased up to touch my iPhone. Plus once all the food was done I had to get it in front of people. We ate although secretly I wanted to strip my clothes off, dispose of them in some dramatic fashion, and hose myself down with bleach.
Smashburgers….meh. Not again in my life time. Just sayin.’
Just saying, all that fry work may be laudable, but please feel free to put it away for me at any future dinner. God Bless. Jean