So a squirrel sauntered casually up to my window with some sort of nut in its mouth and I waited for a moment and then I leapt up and it fled, dropping the nut as it ran. Well, I was not going to let that damn thing keep it so I went and picked it up. I set it inside the house with the door open but the screen closed. I thought I’d taunt it because I’m so, you know, mature. Not really imagining that he’d come back for it. But he did.
“One word buddy,” I screamed at him. “One word, PEACHES.”