I’ll go willingly

Just bring the straight jacket, I’ve got the papers signed. 

I had this idea (while I was running—when I am not listening to German lessons, I am thinking about food) to make Christmas cookies with red and green stripes. As if I need more crap to do, I already made one batch of the damn things, and then as I ran, the idea became more and more complex and pretty soon I was making fucking Royal Stewart tartan plaid cookies. The idea, fully formed in my mind, turned out to be a complete freaking horror show. I nearly had a stroke trying to squeeze the dough out of a pastry tip. Eventually I rolled the colored dough out and cut thin strips that promptly fell apart in my hands but still somehow (and not without a great deal of effort) I managed to get one batch of them onto a tray and into the oven.

The color is awful, watermelon and mint, more like Easter than Christmas and the final cookies look like they’re made of Play-doh. Hm, there’s a thought maybe I should get one of those Play-doh machines and run my cookie dough through…ack….SHOOT ME.

I threw out the red and green dough so I wouldn’t be tempted to experiment with it again—really I had a stiff neck and a lower back ache from the torture of it. And then I gave the finished cookies to my mailman. At least I put them in a bag with his name on it and put it in the mailbox. This may be a felony. In any event cookies that look like this ought to be if they aren’t.

Pardon me, I’ve got to go google Play-doh fun factories…





2 Replies to “I’ll go willingly”

  1. the cookies look good to me, although it would have been easier (I think) and more delicious, to make the red and green strips with icing.
    Jean

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