Happy New Year, one hopes

I don’t know about you but I like to start out the new year being all real healthy-like. At least for the first month of the year. Over the years I’ve been vegetarian for that month, definitely didn’t drink, or I’ve tried being vegan, gluten free, lactose free, respectively — or many variations therein. That’s all well and good but this year we are heading to Mexico City on the 10th so I decided to just crush those first 10 days with super healthy, alcohol-free living. And to begin with a three-day juice cleanse. (read about it here) I have done this particular cleanse before, although only for 2 days, and I really don’t remember what happened except that I threw away the juicer when it leaked all over hell and back.

You probably won’t click on that link to read about this (I certainly wouldn’t) but I was particularly taken with this sentiment.

I made the same face when I read this that my husband did when I told him I was going to do it.

I’m not sure I was feeding my body the best thing on this planet. I was juicing the crap that’s spent a fair amount of time in the crisper drawer of my refrigerator so, you know, not all sunkist and dewy, fresh-from-the-good-earth. But I’m using what I have and planned to feed the dregs to my worms. So all ecological and everything. Besides, the best thing on this planet is warm home-made bread and butter and I doubt it can be juiced.

I started the day out with hot water and lemon juice as instructed. Squeezed from lemons I grew myself, so, score on that account. Not having a juicer anymore I had to figure something else out and I read in the comment section of that blog that I could use a Bullet (which I have) and then put the pulverized pulp into a nut sac or nut milk bag or something. I went with a strainer.

I used celery, cucumber, carrots, apples and an orange. And what the hell, I threw in a tomato. Live dangerously, I say. Later I had the realization that I can’t feed the detritus to my worms since they won’t eat citrus. Christ, even my worms are picky eaters.

I’d been planning to do this for a few days and woke up filled with the zeal of a convert but whatever fervor I’d had yesterday morning was greatly diminished when I read an article in Slate (read here) that said cleanses of any sort are bullshit. The body does a great job of keeping itself clean. Still I didn’t think a day or two of self denial is going to do me any harm so I went with it.

I was feeling peckish around 11 or so and drank the miserable swill, I mean, juice I’d made and refrigerated earlier in the day so was now icy cold. (Things taste better when you use attractive adjectives). I wouldn’t say I was filled with the milky warmth of earthly comfort or whatever the hell she said, but it was enough, and good enough is good enough. I then spent the rest of the day and all evening either on or about 4 feet from a toilet. So I think I’ve cleansed enough.

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