In case there is any doubt, Germans are different than Americans, even Milwaukee Americans who are more German than most. A quick trip to the grocery store will put one in touch with a couple three differences.
First we have the entirety of the boxed cakes in the baking aisle, if you could call it an aisle. It’s an abbreviated one. There are no layer cakes. None. There are 2 boxed cheese cake mixes though. Next we have the bottled water aisle. All. The. Way. To. The. End. Bottled water, on both sides. This is an aisle, goddamit! I needed to call an Uber to get all the way down there.