Baking is a big fad right now

I was informed by the snotty girl at Whole Foods. I went there to find rye flour as I’d planned to make rye bread (with caraway, sorry mom). Pick N Save did not have it nor did MetroMarket. I was sure that Whole Foods would have it. They have cauliflower flour and cassava flour, in case you’re in the mood to make . . . I dunno.

When I asked at the service counter (it was empty there was no one in the store and I’d already asked a guy stocking shelves if they had it, they do not) why they don’t stock it she told me in an extraordinarily condescending manner that baking is a big fad now. Which—what?! If it’s a fad shouldn’t they have it or are people making bread with cauliflower flour? I was tempted to answer defensively (and equally snappishly), “I’VE BEEN BAKING FOR LONGER THAN YOU’VE BEEN ALIVE.” But I did not. Being mature, I told her they have do have teff flour and chickpea flour. It seems like rye flour is more commonly used than those. (For the record their website has rye flour listed but it has to be ordered. It is not stocked—but in case you need sorghum flour, that’s in stock, FYI). She laughed and we ended on a lighter note. She could not see me sticking my tongue out behind my mask which, yes, immature, so what.

They had it at Outpost. So now I’m making rye bread. More on that tomorrow.

Vegan cheese

So many issues. It’s not bad. It melts. Leaves a kind of slick feeling on my teeth. It tastes like Velveta (which I would have to say I don’t mind at all).

But unrecyclable plastic and unnecessary outer sleeve. I should probably stop worrying about things like this, there’s not much I can do about them and they will eventually get sorted out . . . or not.

The taco, or whatever it was, was good. Of course I’ll eat anything. Except Anchovies.

Confused maybe, probably, but delicious

I had some very old mushrooms that needed to be cooked and for some reason that escapes me I ground them up in the processor and sautéed them, a trick to remove their water.

It looks like ground beef but it’s mushrooms. I added some “zesty” Italian pepper relish. Omelet, no, taco, no. Breakfast, yes. It was so good. Think of it as a tacomelet.

And I renewed my relationship with my crepe pan. May have to make those soon.

Theoretically this is not slop

Although there are probably not all that many theories about the nature of slop as, say, the nature of God. I, personally, do have many criteria, rules, proscriptions, concepts and guidelines not to mention recipes (in an abstract sort of way). One is that it cannot be too carefully thought out. And another is that pasta cannot be included.

This meal was supposed to be a simple can of tomatoes and pasta. Just writing that makes my mouth water (I had initially typed “me mouth” which sounds a little more pirate-y than I tend to be). But I got sidetracked when I realized I had feta cheese in my refrigerator. And immediately I jumped into my no emissions car and drove to the Greek store to buy my favorite olives (to much “thinking it out” for the MOP). Of course there had to be onion and green pepper which are allowable under the dicta of the 2009 Month of Pain Accord.

In the end I added capers (allowable; sec. 4, article 29a Great Compromise of 2010 MOP). Pasta was OK since it was cooked in the same pot and at the same time as the tomatoes and I did not consume a half bottle of pinot. Just kidding, I would never drink pinot. But there has been no wine of any sort either. The slop was OK. Not great, certainly not as delicious as I was expecting. Maybe smaller pasta would be better—or something more soup-like. I’m working on that.

Feeding the sick (and hungry)

Having COVID did have its upside. My friend Karen made this awesome lime coconut chicken for me. While somehow I lost my taste for coffee apparently, this tasted fabulous and was enough for 2 meals. Score. Recipe here in case you were interested. The rice was perfectly done something the Royal Indian Mounted Police would appreciate if he were still here.

Negative

After 6 days I was feeling better and took a home test. Yesterday I went to CVS and got an official PCR test.

The bad news is that I cannot abide the taste of coffee. I hope that resolves itself.

January: The Month of Pain

You’d think after the several months of pain I’ve recently endured I’d take a pass on further discomfort. And I may. I did last year for sure. But this tradition is decades old and I just can’t not give it a try at the very least. And I always feel so pure and clean when I do it. Or is that after I shower. I’m not sure.

I’ve already used up 1/3 of the month anyway. I feel that having had COVID is more than enough compensation for the missed 10 days.

I made this slop this morning out of cabbage, mushrooms, onions, celery and beans. It’s remarkably good and virtually calorie free.

I discovered this morning that the battery in my scale is used up (which is shocking because I have not weighed myself more than 4 times this year) and it’s a battery type that I don’t have on hand. Bummer. But I will soldier on.